Respect

It relates to the level of admiration for others. It may be ascribed, confirmed, or earned on qualities, achievements, or capabilities. Respect is part of a person’s collective value or role in a social system.

Story: Coffee-Wisdom

Bob and Jim were co-workers at a tech startup. During their coffee break, they talked about respecting their elders.

Bob: I think showing respect to the older generation is important. They have a wealth of experience that we can learn from.

Jim: Hmm, I don’t know. I think respect should be earned through hard work and education.

Bob: But what if someone is old and wise?

Jim: Well, I don’t think age necessarily equates to wisdom. What if they’re just old and crotchety?

Bob (laughing): Fair point. But in my family, we always show respect to our elders.

Jim (smirking): Okay, okay. But what if your grandpa tells you to do something crazy like wear your underwear on your head?? Would you do it?

Bob: I’d probably draw the line there. But I’d still love and respect him.

Jim (laughing): Alright, fair enough. Let’s get back to work before our boss tells us to wear our underwear on our heads.

Examples from the Bible

  • Paul told Timothy to earn respect by living an exemplary life (1 Timothy 4:12) in a culture that honors the elders (Proverbs 16:31).
  • The reliability of the message may be dependent on who is bringing it. In the Scripture, prophets were called to be the mouthpiece of God. Aaron was a mouthpiece of Moses, who, in turn, represented God (Exodus 4:14-16).
  • Job assumed that elders were the source of God-given advice and wisdom (Job 12:20). Elihu clearly understood that respect and wisdom were ascribed to the elders (Job 32:4-9).
  • Korah challenged Moses and Aaron for leadership. Later, the whole of Israel complained against Moses, and God confirmed Mose’s leadership position (Numbers 16).
  • King David’s greatest heroes and their achievements are mentioned to give them honor (2 Samuel 23:8-38).
  • The story of Haman and Mordechai is a great example of respect as well as memory (Esther 3:1-10, 6:1-10).
  • The case in the Corinthian church is about rights and mutual respect. The meat that was offered to the idols does not affect our faith at all. However, Paul asked the “strong” group not to eat the meat offered to the idols if the “weak” group learned about it, and they became a stumbling block for them. On the other hand, Paul urges the weak to widen their understanding about the strong’s position to eat meat from the temple (1 Corinthians 8:1-13).
  • The Hebrew author asked the Christians to submit (which includes respecting) to their leaders because they watch over them (Hebrews 13:17).
  • Barnabas (Acts 4:36-37), Stephen (Acts 6:5-15), Luke (Colossians 4:14), and many more are mentioned as men of integrity and servanthood.
  • Paul’s recommendations to his coworkers in Romans 16 emphasize the role of honor for people who work for the Lord.
  • Peter urges the Christians to honor and love each other amid persecution, respecting or submitting to their superiors even though they are harsh to them (1 Peter 2:17). Both achieved and ascribed respect are considered here.

Real-life examples

  • In the Philippines, after inquiring about someone’s name, the second question is about their age. For Filipinos, it is crucial information to use the proper, respectful forms for people older than themselves.
  • The Javanese people likewise have high regard for the elderly as they see them as people with many life experiences and wisdom. In electing someone to a position, people would prefer someone older, assuming that the person can handle the role better based on his experiences and a long period of gaining knowledge. However, it is not necessarily true in many cases. However, the Javanese also greatly respect someone with high education, like teachers, doctors, and lawyers, because of the insurmountable knowledge they gain, whether old or young. That kind of respect sometimes includes not asking questions about the person’s talk or decisions because doing so is disrespectful.
  • In another example, the Muslims pay respect to the temple of Burubudur because it is part of the culture of Javanese even though it is not part of the beliefs of Islam. It is a form of respect that one must pay attention to act appropriately not based on feeling or personal will but because it is part of the norm in society.

Relevance

Respect connotes who we are as humans and how we act and move together appropriately among our people/social groups. In oral cultures, “who says something is often more important than what is said.”1

There is a real danger that religious rituals and symbols can be classified as magic.2

Knowing what and how people respect others (or not) allows them to better determine elders and church leaders. Respect helps us interpret the Bible (like Jesus’ title as a teacher) and plays a role in the messenger’s authority (who said it). This trait of orality is closely related to identity.

It is part of every culture and growing concern on various contemporary issues on age, gender equality, racism, economic status, human rights, etc. Some cultures highly value their older members; at the other end of the spectrum, some value youth over age.

Orality preference continuum

The two poles of the continuum can be most clearly seen in the way respect is attained.

The HOR end of the continuum shows people in respected positions they have been ascribed to. This can happen because of lineage or even age.

On the LOR spectrum, respect is achieved by individual success in education or gaining a position due to effort.

The extremes on this spectrum do not fit most people. A better picture can be attained by looking at the list below.

Very highHighLowVery low
People respect older people and authorities regardless of their background as a norm in their community.People respect their older people and authorities following an example from their parents.People respect older people and authorities because of their moral backgrounds and credentials. They do the same thing with people of the same age or younger.People respect all age groups because of their moral backgrounds and credentials, but they depend on specific circumstances.
Just accept it.Just accept it because of who said it.Who said it matters, but it must be supported with facts.Need detailed explanation.
Someone who holds a position of high respect in the community has more to say about our issues.Someone with a position of respect will be heard first, and his opinion is the most important, but experts will also be consulted.Experts’ opinions are most relevant, but the people with ascribed respect have more weight than others.We are all equally important in the community and need to hear what the “voices of experience” might have to say.
I trust and believe only those I have relationships with and those deemed trustworthy in my community (like age, gender, and position).I mainly trust and believe those I have relationships with and those deemed trustworthy in my community.I trust and believe those whom I have relationships with. I consider those deemed trustworthy in my community. However, I decide who is trustworthy. Also, I am open to listening to people introduced to me by people I know.My relationship with a person and how my community sees the person are irrelevant to who I listen to and believe. What is important is the person’s credentials and what the person is saying.

What has been discovered?

In many cultures, using the correct title is very important. In the Philippines, for example, the second question after getting to know a new acquaintance’s name is their age because it is crucial to address older people with the appropriate title.

We learn respect socially, what it means to show respect, and how it should look.3

Every culture produces hierarchies of respect and order of honor.4 When we live within these expectations, relations run more smoothly. When neglected, we may find ourselves ignored or worse. Some cultures have a more flat collegial hierarchy, while others prefer a horizontal structure.5

When working among HOR people, “respect” means seeking the counsel of the recognized community elders. They assist from start to finish. They get the credit.6

Respect is communicated through the type of greeting you extend, the sequence of people, and when you extend it; where, when, or how you sit; who you look at or do not look at; questions – is it even appropriate to do? What kind of questions? What questions NOT to ask?

According to Western thinking, “respect is earned, not given.” Nothing could be further removed from reality in most of the world. Respect is due to whom respect has been conferred – formally or “non-formally.”

Additional resources

  1. Tom A. Steffen and William Bjoraker, The Return of Oral Hermeneutics: As Good Today as It Was for the Hebrew Bible and First-Century Christianity (Wipf & Stock, 2020), 98. ↩︎
  2. Moon, W. Jay. 2017. Intercultural Discipleship: Learning from Global Approaches to Spiritual Formation. Encountering Mission. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Academic, 114-15. ↩︎
  3. Malunga, Chiku. “Learning leadership development from African cultures: A personal perspective.” Intrac PraxisNote 25 (2006): 1-13. ↩︎
  4. Darwall, Stephen, ‘Respect as Honor and as Accountability’, Honor, History, and Relationship: Essays in Second-Personal Ethics II (Oxford, 2013; online edn, Oxford Academic, 23 Jan. 2014) ↩︎
  5. Geert Hofstede, Gert Jan Hofstede, and Michael Minkov, Cultures and Organizations: Software of the Mind; Intercultural Cooperation and Its Importance for Survival, Rev. and expanded 3. ed (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2010), Chaps. 3 More Equal than Others. ↩︎
  6. Madinger, Charles. “Applied Orality: More than Methods.” Mission Frontiers, June-July (2014): 6-8.
    Motty, Bauta. “Spreading the Word to Know the Truth.” Mission Frontiers, June-July (2014): 9.
    Bauta, Sung. “Empowering Widows with Orality-Framed Training. Missions Frontier. June-July (2014): 10. ↩︎
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Last updated on July 31, 2024